


Things

by MK_Yujji



Category: Super Junior
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 05:44:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3925066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MK_Yujji/pseuds/MK_Yujji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has a thing. Some things are just easier to live with than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on LJ a very long time ago. This was my very first SuJu fic that focused entirely on an actual member of SuJu. Still dedicated to the wench that drug me kicking and screaming into SuJu and refused to give up on making me see them in a better light. Love you, silly goose. ;p
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.

Everybody has a thing. That's just the way it is. In a band of thirteen to fifteen people when everyone is stuck living with at least half of everyone else at any given point and time, it's to be expected that some of those things mesh and some of them clash; that some of them make life easier and others make it nearly unbearable.

The thing about Heechul is that he likes to kiss people. Sometimes it's about silencing someone he's tired of listening to, sometimes its about getting one up over one someone else. 

Sometimes it's just for the shock value. 

Sometimes it's a simple show of genuine affection.

But it doesn't really _mean_ anything.

Siwon can't count the number of kisses he's witnessed or been subjected to over the years he's known the self-declared Cinderella. He can't even keep track of all the various victims of this habit of Heechul's. Certainly every member of their own band and a good portion of their label mates as well. He thinks he's seen Heechul kissing a couple of members of YG, though to be fair, he'd been exhausted out of his mind and probably edging into illness and fever so he may have imagined that.

If someone insisted that they'd seen Heechul kissing Lee Sooman himself, Siwon wouldn't have been very surprised. A little grossed out, maybe, but not _surprised_.

The problem with this thing of Heechul's is that Siwon has a thing too. A thing for Heechul.

That is to say that Siwon has been head over heels in love with Heechul almost from the very first flippant remark about his lack of fashion sense – as if Heechul had any room to talk in the bright orange t-shirt and neon pink low rise pants he'd been wearing that day – and bad hair cut followed by a run down of everything – real or imagined – that had ever been wrong with him.

Kangin says it's because Siwon is a masochist because there's no other logical reason for falling in love with a guy who's first words to you were derogatory enough to bring lesser men to tears. 

Secretly, Siwon thinks Kangin might actually be right.

He certainly can't think of another reason why his heart is still set on someone who has spent the following years slowly ripping him apart at the seams through a dizzying combination of easy affection and abject disdain, teasing tastes of what could be and casual dismissals for tastier prey.

Granted, Heechul seems to still somehow subscribe to the belief that Siwon's feelings are largely for show. As if Siwon has ever been particularly good at pretending one emotion or ignoring another just for the sake of their fans. When someone brings it up, he always laughs it off and grins at Siwon - _It's just fanservice, right, Si?_

And Siwon can't quite find it in himself to do more than laugh along with Heechul and ruffle his hair, soliciting a squawk of protest that usually distracts from the fact that he never actually answers that question.

The years have made the co-habitation of these two clashing things both easier and harder.

Easier because he's long since stopped getting his hopes up only to have them dashed down again; harder because... well... at least when he had hope he had _something_ , and now he just has this sad feeling in the pit of his gut that gnaws at him when everything's quiet and he doesn't have anything else to distract him.

Someday he'll find someone else. He'll move on, settle down and get married. Maybe he'll even have a little girl that he can call 'Rella and Heechul can play auntie to. Someday the dull ache that his longing for Heechul has become will fade away entirely, or at least enough to be easily shuffled aside and ignored, and he'll be completely, honestly happy.

Until then, he does his best to focus on being happy with the knowledge that most of the kisses he gets are honest affection and tries not to be too bitter about the others who can say the same.

~*~*~

_fin_


End file.
